1. Listen to this……please?


    standalone playerQuantcast

    1 year ago  /  0 notes

  2. Invictus by William Ernest Henley

    Out of the night that covers me,
    Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
    I thank whatever gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul.

    In the fell clutch of circumstance
    I have not winced nor cried aloud.
    Under the bludgeonings of chance
    My head is bloody, but unbowed.

    Beyond this place of wrath and tears
    Looms but the Horror of the shade,
    And yet the menace of the years
    Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll.
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul.

    1 year ago  /  0 notes

  3. It’s been that long?

    The other day I came to a stark realization. 18 years ago this week, I embarked on a journey that has taken me to the far corners of the earth. 

    October 12th, 1992.  I’ll never forget that sleepless night at the Denver Days Inn and the flight to Atlanta later that afternoon.  I don’t remember everything in perfect detail, but I definitely remember the bus ride to Columbus, GA and the smell of wood pulp permeating the air as we arrived. Up to that point, everything was pretty calm.  Even disembarking the bus, it was relatively disarming because  nobody was yelling at us yet. 

    We’d arrived  at the 30th AG Replacement Center in Fort Benning.  After the third offer of amnesty for any contriband we might be smuggling in and some very “directive instructions”, we were processed in. 

    Around midnight we were shown to our open bay barracks, and we fell into our bunks with our wallets tucked safely into our underwear.  As memory serves, I believe we were treated to around 4 whole hours of sleep. 

    I had my first grit that morning.  It reminded me of Cream of Wheat and I scarfed it down along with the shitty eggs and creamed beef (affectionately known as SOS, or shit on a shingle, for as long as fresh-faced boys have been lacing up their boots for God and country). 

    Following breakfast we received our “spa treatment” and by “spa treatment”, I mean they shaved our heads…bald.  Piles upon piles upon piles of different colored hair fell from clippers onto the floor and was swiftly swept away.  The best part?  That shit’s not free.  Nope.  You have to pay for the privilege of getting your head shaved. 

    We spent the rest of the day going through various assembly lines where we received our new wardrobe.  Think your a medium?  Nope. One of the multitude of Korean ladies would let you know what size you wear.  “Move to the next table.”

    During our stay at the 30th AG, we would do our first PT assessment where you’d be judged on whether or not you were ready to “go downrange”.  The dudes who were in horrible shape would end up sticking around awhile.  They’d ultimately become the shithouse lawyers with the best lay of the land (in their own minds).  Their rumors about life “down range” would spread throughout the newbies, causing turmoil and more sleeplessness.  Usually they ended up being a great big load of crap. 

    Ultimately, after about 4 days, we packed our civilian clothes into a bag that we wouldn’t see again for months and hopped on another bus.  While we calmly entered the bus, this ride would end in stark contrast to our first busride.  Screaming drill sergeants welcomed us with insults and harassment as we scrambled to carry our gear down to the sidewalks and stand in formation.   

    For the next 13 weeks I learned to be a soldier. 

    It was a proud moment when we marched across the field for pass and review.  Our parents beamed from the bleachers with hearts filled with pride at the men that we’d become.  The guard guys and “legs” would be heading home or on leave, with that confidence that accompanies the finality of completion. They collected their civilian bags and said their goodbyes. 

    Guys like me however, were headed to Airborne school.  What did that mean? 

    Another bus ride.

    1 year ago  /  2 notes

  4. On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs

    By LTC (RET) Dave Grossman, author of “On Killing.”

    Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always,even death itself. The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for? - William J. Bennett - in a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997

    One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me:

    “Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident.” This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another. Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.

    Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

    I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin’s egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers, and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful.? For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.

    “Then there are the wolves,” the old war veteran said, “and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy.” Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

    “Then there are sheepdogs,” he went on, “and I’m a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf.”

    If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero’s path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed

    Let me expand on this old soldier’s excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial, that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids’ schools.

    But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid’s school. Our children are thousands of times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by school violence than fire, but the sheep’s only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their child is just too hard, and so they chose the path of denial.

    The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheep dog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

    Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn’t tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, “Baa.”

    Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.

    The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door.

    Look at what happened after September 11, 2001 when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America , more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Remember how many times you heard the word hero?

    Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

    Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, “Thank God I wasn’t on one of those planes.” The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, “Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference.” When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

    There is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, but he does have one real advantage. Only one. And that is that he is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population. There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory crimes of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa , when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

    Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I’m proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

    Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury , New Jersey . Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When he learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd dropped his phone and uttered the words, “Let’s roll,” which authorities believe was a signal to the other passengers to confront the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers - athletes, business people and parents. — from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

    There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men. - Edmund Burke

    Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn’t have a choice. But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision.

    If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior’s path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

    For example, many officers carry their weapons in church.? They are well concealed in ankle holsters, shoulder holsters or inside-the-belt holsters tucked into the small of their backs.? Anytime you go to some form of religious service, there is a very good chance that a police officer in your congregation is carrying. You will never know if there is such an individual in your place of worship, until the wolf appears to massacre you and your loved ones.

    I was training a group of police officers in Texas , and during the break, one officer asked his friend if he carried his weapon in church. The other cop replied, “I will never be caught without my gun in church.” I asked why he felt so strongly about this, and he told me about a cop he knew who was at a church massacre in Ft. Worth, Texas in 1999. In that incident, a mentally deranged individual came into the church and opened fire, gunning down fourteen people. He said that officer believed he could have saved every life that day if he had been carrying his gun. His own son was shot, and all he could do was throw himself on the boy’s body and wait to die. That cop looked me in the eye and said, “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?”

    Some individuals would be horrified if they knew this police officer was carrying a weapon in church. They might call him paranoid and would probably scorn him. Yet these same individuals would be enraged and would call for “heads to roll” if they found out that the airbags in their cars were defective, or that the fire extinguisher and fire sprinklers in their kids’ school did not work. They can accept the fact that fires and traffic accidents can happen and that there must be safeguards against them.

    Their only response to the wolf, though, is denial, and all too often their response to the sheepdog is scorn and disdain. But the sheepdog quietly asks himself, “Do you have and idea how hard it would be to live with yourself if your loved ones attacked and killed, and you had to stand there helplessly because you were unprepared for that day?”

    It is denial that turns people into sheep. Sheep are psychologically destroyed by combat because their only defense is denial, which is counterproductive and destructive, resulting in fear, helplessness and horror when the wolf shows up.

    Denial kills you twice. It kills you once, at your moment of truth when you are not physically prepared: you didn’t bring your gun, you didn’t train. Your only defense was wishful thinking. Hope is not a strategy. Denial kills you a second time because even if you do physically survive, you are psychologically shattered by your fear helplessness and horror at your moment of truth.

    Gavin de Becker puts it like this in Fear Less, his superb post-9/11 book, which should be required reading for anyone trying to come to terms with our current world situation: “…denial can be seductive, but it has an insidious side effect. For all the peace of mind deniers think they get by saying it isn’t so, the fall they take when faced with new violence is all the more unsettling.”

    Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level.

    And so the warrior must strive to confront denial in all aspects of his life, and prepare himself for the day when evil comes. If you are warrior who is legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that the bad man will not come today. No one can be “on” 24/7, for a lifetime. Everyone needs down time. But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself…

    “Baa.”

    This business of being a sheep or a sheep dog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-sand-sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between. Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors, and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. The degree to which you move up that continuum, away from sheephood and denial, is the degree to which you and your loved ones will survive, physically and psychologically at your moment of truth.

    1 year ago  /  0 notes

  5. 1 year ago  /  0 notes

  6. History via Facebook

    1 year ago  /  0 notes

  7. 1 year ago  /  0 notes

  8. Breathe out, so I can breath you in.

    Last night I was pleasantly surprised.  Wedged neatly between the 9582nd airings of the Motley Crue and Meatloaf Behind The Music(s), on VH1 Classic (wtf?), was a tasty, little gem.  Storytellers - Foo Fighters.

    I’m not sure if other musicians feel this way, but every time I see that show, I imagine myself standing there on the stage…spilling my stories about every song and how they came about.  I love the show, but can’t help but watch it with a  gnawing envy. 

    As expected, they ended the show with Everlong.  Dave Grohl told the story of how it was never written or nor intended for inclusion on the album The Color and The Shape, yet it was more or less responsible for keeping the band alive for the next 13 years.  Ultimately a big highlight for the band was when Bob Dylan asked if he could cover it. 

    The beauty of that story is truly in the result being so glorious despite the initial intention.  To me, that describes the concept of Grace. 

    The minute Dave picked up his guitar on that day, an inspiration fed an idea that fed a guitar lick that fed an arrangement that fed the lyrics that led to the creation of a song that influenced millions. From the first note, that song is now instantly recognizable worldwide.  To me, there is no other explanation other than Grace. 

    You don’t have to believe in Christianity to appreciate the fact that there are times in life in which we are genuinely closer to the divine.  The first line in the Leonard Cohen song “Halleluah” says:

    “Now I’ve heard there was a secret chord
    That David played, and it pleased the Lord
    But you don’t really care for music, do you?”

    This always pops in my head when I feel goosebumps rise up on my skin and tears well up in my eyes when struck by a song or particularly inspirational performance.  I guess that’s why I’m so driven when it comes to music.  There are few things in this world which inspire that kind of emotional response.  Life is too short to miss out on that.

    1 year ago  /  0 notes

  9. tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

    My Keurig Single Cup coffee maker

    1 year ago  /  0 notes